Bad Mermaids Read online

  ‘We sort of need that clam car to get home,’ Zelda said, shooting Beattie a look.

  ‘You could meet the greatest water witch that has ever lived,’ Gronnyupple said, holding on to Beattie’s arm. ‘A water witch who can make magic. She could teach us how to do it. Without her, we’ll have no catalogue, no magic. And when you all leave I’ll have no friends.’

  ‘I’m your friend,’ Krilky said.

  ‘With all due respect, Your Fishiness,’ Gronnyupple said with a bow, ‘you’re not often available.’

  Beattie swished her tail back and forth, an adventurous smile cracking on her face.

  ‘Or,’ Zelda said, spotting Beattie’s face, ‘we could go home, and watch Catwalk Prawn and live like normal mermaids again.’

  ‘Well, I’ll come with you, Gronnyupple,’ Paris said. ‘It’s the summer holidays, and my ice-cream stall and gadget den are at the bottom of the ocean, so I’ll have nothing to do.’

  Mimi looked from Zelda to the others and back again.

  ‘No, Mimi,’ Zelda said. ‘As my twin, you have to do the same as me and come home. It’s the law.’

  ‘No it isn’t!’ Beattie said.

  ‘You’re not a twin, Beattie. It’s secret twin law,’ Zelda said.

  A bunch of little mermaids lined up next to them, stroking tiny mercats.

  ‘MERCATS!’ Paris roared. ‘THE DREAM!’ She plucked one from the littlest mermaid and cuddled it.

  ‘Who are they?’ Zelda asked.

  ‘Oh, they’re my kids,’ Hilma said, swimming down in front of them. ‘I’ve been sort of looking after them.’

  ‘Someone left you in charge of children?’ Zelda spluttered. She bent down to check they were OK. ‘Hilma, we thought you were on the Merry Mary!’

  Beattie gave Hilma a hug. She tried to wriggle out of it.

  ‘I’m going to travel to Beluga Town with them,’ Hilma said. ‘They’ve promised they’ll get me home from there. I’m quite enjoying having people listen intently to everything I say. Plus they said I could get a mercat.’

  ‘Don’t listen to anything Hilma says,’ Beattie whispered to the little mermaids.

  ‘Hilma,’ Zelda said quietly, ‘would you rather have your own mercat or have a hat that miaowed?’

  ‘GOODBYE, ZELDA, goodbye … other weird mermaids,’ Hilma said, glancing at Gronnyupple and Paris. She turned and said to Beattie quietly, ‘See you back at home. I‘ll set up an appointment so you can meet my soon-to-be-famous mercat. He’ll be like Steve, only pleasant.’

  ‘I’M EXCESSIVELY PLEASANT!’ Steve roared from inside his false teeth, causing one of the front teeth to ping off and float away. His nose appeared in the gap. ‘Plus I’m, until proven otherwise, a miracle. A half-fish, half-cat is hardly a miracle.’

  Beattie watched as Hilma swam off, then turned to the others. ‘You know what, Gronnyupple? I don’t think a little detour to Frostopia would be a bad thing.’

  Krilky lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘They say the ice walls are higher than any wall you’ve seen, and beyond them lies the greatest mermaid city ever built. But no one from outside has been allowed in for years.’

  ‘We’ll get in,’ Beattie said, swimming for the clam car.

  Steve popped out of his false teeth, wearing a furry cone top. ‘Ready!’ he cried.

  ‘Oh, fine,’ Zelda huffed. ‘I’ll come too. Maybe they’ll have shockey. What sea creatures do you think they ride?’

  ‘Probably killer whales,’ Mimi said.

  ‘Definitely coming,’ Zelda said, diving into the car.

  Gronnyupple wriggled with excitement, spilling Seahorse Surprise sweets everywhere.

  Beattie fired up the clam car.

  ‘There’s a secret emergency exit behind the Ringletti stall in Eggport. Tell the mermaid behind the counter that I sent you and she’ll let you out,’ Krilky said.

  ‘There’s an exit there?!’ Zelda cried. ‘We were closer to getting home at the very start!’

  Krilky chuckled. ‘But just think what would’ve happened had you left so soon.’ She waved goodbye as the clam car rose up. ‘Good luck!’

  ‘Frostopia and then home,’ Beattie said with a smile. ‘It’s just a little detour, after all.’

  They had no idea just what a detour it would turn out to be …

  THE SQUEAKER

  NEWS!

  Seahorse Surprise has chosen its new face – and it’s a talking seahorse, called Sneeze.

  Steve scrunched up the article with his tail and threw it out the window. ‘Sneeze?!’

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  First published in Great Britain in 2018 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  Text copyright © Sibéal Pounder, 2018

  Illustrations copyright © Jason Cockcroft, 2018

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