Witch Watch Read online

  ‘You hacked magic?’ Tiga asked.

  ‘Exactly,’ Celia Crayfish said with a twirl.

  Tiga peered over the roof and watched as witches fought and buildings of cheese toppled over, splattering in the streets. There was Lizzie Beast struggling to close the cheese door to Brew’s on Nasty Nancy, who had a lot of feet, while Patty Pigeon stood next to them yelling, ‘Just be NICE!’ And Milly and Molly were racing around with the cove witches rounding up the evil witches like cattle, and Aggie Hoof was holding her nose wading about in some cheese. They were all there, apart from two people … Norma Milton, who Tiga hoped was getting the information out of the slug on the Sky Port as they spoke – it was their only hope – and one other …

  ‘Where’s Felicity Bat?’ Tiga said to herself.

  Celia Crayfish rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, that brat. She’s not participating in today’s events.’

  ‘She’s your granddaughter …’ Tiga said.

  ‘She’s a DISGRACE,’ Celia Crayfish snapped.

  Tiga’s mind was racing. If Felicity Bat was telling the truth about her grandmother being horrible to her, then maybe something bad had happened to her and that’s why she didn’t make it to the Sky Port. Tiga felt awful.

  Celia Crayfish gazed at the apple and giggled. It was a familiar giggle to Tiga, but she couldn’t quite place it …

  Celia Crayfish skipped to the edge of the roof and that was when everything clicked into place.

  Norma Milton appeared at the same time the rumours about Celia Crayfish started. Norma Milton insisted on being involved in everything. She had an old map of Silver City. She was there when the slug paper went missing and Felicity Bat was insistent she didn’t have it. She took the slug for safekeeping … No one knew her or had met her before. It was almost like … she wasn’t really … real …

  Tiga gasped!

  All the fairies turned and looked at her.

  ‘What?’ Fluffanora hissed from the side of the roof.

  ‘YOU’RE NORMA MILTON!’ Tiga roared at Celia Crayfish.

  ‘What?’ Peggy whispered.

  Celia Crayfish snaked towards Tiga, giggling. With a bang she was instantly transformed into the little girl, and then back to her stringy old self again.

  Peggy slapped her hand to her face.

  ‘I’m Not Normal,’ Fluffanora said knowingly.

  Tiga grinned a triumphant grin, but stopped when she saw what was in Celia Crayfish’s pocket.

  ‘SLUGGFREY!’ she cried.

  The little slug stared helplessly at her.

  Tiga could feel her legs wobbling. She leaned forward and tried to grab Sluggfrey, but with her feet stuck she just wasn’t close enough.

  The fairies all started talking fast to each other, clearly trying to plan an attack because every so often you’d hear ‘ATTACK’.

  ZAAAAP!

  The fairies hurtled to the ground as Celia Crayfish blew gently on her finger. ‘Easy,’ she said with a cackle.

  Tiga peeked over the edge nervously, with one eye open. She sighed with relief when she saw Fran waving a fist from the ground where she and her fellow flying things were completely crumpled.

  ‘Ha!’ Fran said. ‘You may have crumpled our wings but our bones are fine!’

  ‘I think my foot has come off … ’ Tiga heard Crispy grumble.

  ‘Well, without wings they are out of action,’ Celia Crayfish said with a cackle. ‘Now what are you going to do?’

  ‘What does Sluggfrey kno–’ Tiga stopped and fell quiet.

  ‘Oh, I love watching the hope drain out of people,’ Celia Crayfish giggled, jumping up and down in front of Tiga.

  Something terrible had just occurred to Tiga. If Norma Milton had actually been Celia Crayfish in disguise, then she would’ve seen that Felicity Bat was actually on Tiga’s side, on the good side. Which could only mean …

  ‘WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH FELICITY BAT?’ Tiga demanded.

  Celia Crayfish’s hat nearly slid off her head as she cackled even louder than before.

  ‘Oh, don’t pretend you care, Tiga. I took care of her, the witchy little double agent. She’s locked away somewhere nice and secure.’

  Tiga glanced back down at the crumpled fairies on the ground. All of them were there, but Fran was hurriedly dusting off her skirt. She looked at Tiga and winked.

  ‘Fran?’ Tiga said quietly, as she watched the tiny thing fly wonkily off up the street and into the distance.

  ‘Where’s she going?’ Tiga said to herself, completely forgetting Peggy and Fluffanora were hanging off the edge of the roof, hiding.

  ‘Probably to get her hair done,’ Fluffanora whispered back.

  42

  Flying Fran

  ‘Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’ Fran squealed as she shot through the air. ‘Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’

  43

  Fire

  ‘Wait,’ Tiga said. She had an idea. ‘You are the most talented, powerful witch in Sinkville, correct?’

  Celia Crayfish bowed her head and smiled. ‘Correct.’

  ‘Well, then you should give us a chance to beat you. Three chances, that’s all we ask for.’

  Celia Crayfish shrugged. ‘Fine. Pick your first contender.’

  Tiga whistled. Milly and Molly looked up. ‘I choose the twins Milly and Molly.’

  They stood outside the door of Linden House looking up at Celia Crayfish on the roof.

  ‘Remember what we talked about – the three weaknesses,’ Tiga hissed.

  Milly had already flicked her finger before Tiga could finish.

  A pretty fireplace filled with roaring flames appeared beside Celia Crayfish.

  Tiga put her head in her hands.

  ‘What is this?’ Celia Crayfish scoffed. She flicked her finger and a stick of marshmallows appeared with a bang. She began roasting them on the fire. ‘You’re going to have to do better than that.’

  44

  And Some More

  ‘Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’

  Fran was still flying, squealing ‘Eee’.

  45

  Rude

  ‘FOR THE LOVE OF A FROG IN A HAMMOCK, STOP SQUEALING EEE!’ a witch hiding behind a plant pot screamed in the air.

  46

  Riddles

  ‘I nominate Patty Pigeon!’ Tiga cried.

  Patty shyly stepped forward. She’d done the invisible spell, but as the WARWOP witches explained earlier, all witches can still see you if you do the invisible spell, it just looks like you’re wearing a cloud …

  ‘Remember the three things,’ Tiga said to Patty, her eyes wide.

  Patty nodded.

  ‘I … I am real but you can’t really see me. I’m light but heavy – what am I?’

  ‘You’re Patty Pigeon doing an invisibility spell,’ Celia Crayfish said flatly.

  ‘FROGNUGGETS!’ Tiga cried.

  47

  And Some More

  ‘Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,’ squealed Fran, now mainly just to annoy the rude witch hiding behind the plant pot. ‘Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.’

  She was almost there.

  48

  Tall Children

  Lizzie Beast stepped forward.

  Celia Crayfish looked queasy. She tried to look at Lizzie Beast but then turned away.

  ‘Isn’t she tall,’ Tiga oozed.

  Celia Crayfish swayed like she was going to faint … ‘Such a tall … child,’ she croaked. She stumbled backwards. Lizzie Beast just stood there, confused.

  ‘It’s working,’ Tiga whispered excitedly, but then …

  BOOM!

  In the distance was an almighty noise as glitter exploded everywhere.

  ‘Fran!’ Tiga howled. ‘ALWAYS WITH THE GLITTER!’

  The commotion startled Celia Crayfish out of her weird trance. ‘AAAAAARGH!’ she yelled, flicking her finger and sending Lizzie Beast flying. ‘I win.’

  49

  Fabulous Tracking

  Fran was pleased with the BOOM
! she made as she shattered the locked door to the Gull & Chip Tavern. Good use of glitter, she thought. She had stopped eee-ing and was instead patting herself on the head, saying, ‘Fabulous tracking, Fran. Fabulous.’ She looked up at the cage hanging from the ceiling of the Gull & Chip Tavern.

  She shot some glitter into Felicity Bat’s mouth. ‘POW!’

  ‘Fran, finally,’ she said, wiping some dust off her tongue. ‘Grandmother put a spell on me.’

  ‘Time to get you out of heeeeeeeeeeere!’ Fran cried, racing towards the cage in a flurry of wonky wings and glitter.

  Felicity Bat covered her face and ducked.

  50

  Beetles

  Celia Crayfish sent sprays of beetles showering down on the crowd below. They squealed and ran for cover.

  ‘This is going to be too easy, Tiga,’ she said.

  Tiga desperately tried to flick her finger, but nothing was happening. She watched helplessly as Celia Crayfish took a step forward and bellowed, ‘WITCHES OF SINKVILLE, this is my official acceptance speech. I am your ruler now. No longer will the Top Witch be a child. Children are useless beasts who shouldn’t be trusted with anything, let alone where to put a lamp post or how to regulate Sinkels. Oh, up above the pipes it is simply GLORIOUS. The children up there, they don’t have power, they have homework!’

  She cackled and turned to Tiga, who was only half listening – she’d been distracted by a witch-sized glitter-covered thing levitating its way up Ritzy Avenue.

  ‘GRANDMOTHER!’ the glitter-covered thing shouted. ‘STOP!’

  Celia Crayfish nearly dropped the apple in shock. ‘Felicity,’ she stammered. ‘What are you doing here? And why are you sparkling?’

  Felicity Bat glared at Fran, who shrugged and muttered, ‘The glitter was necessary.’

  ‘You’ll never stop me!’ Celia Crayfish cackled. ‘None of you can – you’re just children!’

  Felicity Bat shot through the air and tried to grab Celia Crayfish, but the old bat flicked a wrinkly finger, and before Tiga could blink, Felicity Bat was spiralling down into the beetle-covered crowd below.

  ‘Nooooooooo!’ Tiga cried.

  She looked frantically from Celia Crayfish to the crowd.

  ‘Now that my official speech is over, Tiga, you can stay stuck here as a reminder never to mess with me.’

  Tiga whimpered.

  Celia Crayfish stuck her nose in the air and said grandly, ‘I think it’s time I took my rightful place on the Top Witch throne.’

  ‘Oh, they got rid of that,’ a witch in the crowd shouted. ‘Big Sue melted it down to make a new statue.’ She pointed across the street to a beautiful statue of Pat the Chef cuddling a spoon.

  ‘Arrrrrrgh!’ Celia Crayfish bellowed before zapping it with her finger and smashing it to pieces.

  Tiga frantically tried to unstick her feet. She couldn’t see where Felicity Bat had gone. Peggy was hanging precariously by one hand from the roof – she could only levitate for short bursts. Fluffanora had darted across the roof and was desperately trying to untie Mrs Brew. Fran was trying to iron out her crinkled wings.

  Tiga looked from them to Celia Crayfish. The apple in the evil witch’s hand was glowing really brightly now. She climbed up on to the chimney and dangled a foot over it. ‘Like Santa does,’ she said quietly.

  Tiga turned to Peggy and shouted, ‘The apple!’

  Peggy nodded, heaved herself on to the roof and batted Fran through the air towards it.

  ‘NO SWATTING!’ Fran roared as she somersaulted around and around, up and up. All eyes in the crowd followed her and everyone instantly felt sick.

  They held their breath, until …

  Splam (it’s like a splat but less intense).

  ‘YAAAAAAYY! WOOOOOOOO! GOOOOOO FRAAAAAAAN!’

  The crowd went wild!

  Fran turned around and waved adoringly at them as she clung on to the apple.

  Celia Crayfish, completely bamboozled by the whole thing, regained her composure and began furiously trying to shake Fran off.

  ‘Oh no you don’t!’ Felicity Bat yelled, rising up from the crowd and zapping her grandmother. The evil thing froze; only her eyes and mouth were moving. Her mouth was shouting, ‘RAAAAAATS!’ and her eyes looked like they were saying, ‘MEGA RAAAAAAATS.’

  ‘Whoa,’ Tiga said quietly.

  And then …

  CRUNCH.

  Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

  Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

  Fran gulped down the last bit of apple and wiped her mouth. The crowd cheered. She held the stalk up to Celia Crayfish’s face, paused, and then SNAPPED IT.

  ‘NOOOOOOOOO!’ Celia Crayfish cried.

  A beautiful cage appeared around her.

  She rattled the bars and madly flicked her finger but she couldn’t get out.

  ‘Remove this cage at once! Who did this?’

  Felicity Bat stepped forward. ‘You could say I learned from the best.’

  Celia Crayfish’s mouth fell open.

  The crowd cheered.

  ‘Let me out, sweetie dearest,’ Celia Crayfish said.

  ‘Let us out too, sweetie dearest,’ came Miss Heks’s muffled voice from inside Brew’s.

  ‘GRANDMOTHER,’ Felicity Bat said, standing tall. ‘You are completely out of control.’

  Tiga, Peggy, Fluffanora, Aggie Hoof and Felicity Bat linked arms.

  ‘WAIT FOR US!’ a voice bellowed.

  Lizzie Beast linked arms with Tiga, and Patty Pigeon linked arms with her.

  ‘AND US!’ a couple of squeaky voices said.

  ‘Milly and Molly!’ Tiga cried, as the terrible twins joined the chain.

  Together the nine of them stood, staring at Celia Crayfish.

  ‘This is our world and it’s time you left,’ Felicity Bat said.

  ‘Oh, sweet little children, thinking you know best,’ Celia Crayfish said with a cackle.

  ‘We do know best,’ Tiga said.

  ‘And we’ve won,’ Felicity Bat said flatly.

  ‘You’re like old fruit – all spoiled. But you won’t spoil us!’ Patty Pigeon said, in what was a very insightful, if unexpected, outburst.

  ‘We’re great fruits,’ Lizzie Beast said, taking the fruit analogy a step too far.

  Milly and Molly nodded furiously.

  ‘I’ve prepared something special for you all,’ Felicity Bat said, tossing the broken apple stalk into the cage with Celia Crayfish. ‘Somewhere you can live for ever. BUT WITH NO MORE MAGIC BECAUSE YOU ARE IRRESPONSIBLE OLD TOADS.’

  Slowly Celia Crayfish rose up and up in her cage and disappeared with a CLANG into one of the pipes.

  There was a pleasant little POOF noise and all the other evil witches vanished too. Extra feet and all.

  51

  Sluggfrey’s Brain

  ‘Well, that was pretty impressive,’ Fluffanora said, high-fiving Felicity Bat.

  ‘Where did you send them?’ Peggy asked.

  Felicity Bat grinned. ‘Oh, nowhere too terrible.’

  ‘Now we just need to find out what Sluggfrey knows!’ Tiga cheered.

  ‘FROGS RIDING ON TURNIPS! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT SLUGGFREY!’ Peggy cried.

  ‘Do frogs ride turnips?’ Fran mumbled.

  No one was listening.

  ‘Here’s Sluggfrey,’ Fluffanora said, handing Tiga the slug.

  Tiga was sure he was giving her a ‘That was CLOSE’ look, but she couldn’t be sure, because his face was slimy and generally expressionless.

  Fluffanora placed Sluggfrey gently on the ground and Tiga put a finger on his head.

  ‘Spy slug, spy slug,

  Slimy and slow

  Show us what it is

  You KNOW. ’

  Instantly, Sluggfrey began to shake.

  ‘He’s not going to explode, is he?!’ Tiga cried.

  Fluffanora held her back. ‘We need to find out what he knows.’

  Out of his head shot a huge hologram of a globe. It was a globe of the w
orld above the pipes. It spun around and around, flashing lights across the countries, and then it stopped.

  London.

  The countries on the globe vanished and it turned translucent, like a crystal ball.

  It was Sluggfrey’s view of the shed. Fran was there! She was chatting to Tiga! She made Tiga’s name rearrange itself into ‘I AM A BIG WITCH’.

  ‘Good times,’ Fran said with a sigh.

  ‘But this is really recent,’ Tiga said.

  Fluffanora took out the piece of paper and studied it.

  ‘Ah, if you want to rewind, you have to push his left eyeball.’

  ‘Sorry, Sluggfrey,’ Tiga whispered as she stuck a finger on his eyeball.

  The image began to rewind. Faster and faster. Back to Tiga’s adventures with the slug in the shed. Then to Miss Heks dancing romantically with a piece of cheese. She kissed it.

  ‘Ewww,’ Aggie Hoof said.

  Backwards it went some more.

  ‘Speed it up by keeping your finger on the eyeball,’ Fluffanora said.

  ‘So sorry, Sluggfrey,’ Tiga mouthed as she held her finger to the eyeball.

  It was moving fast now.

  ‘STOP!’ Peggy cried. ‘This is it.’

  They all crowded around. There the evil witches were. Miss Heks and Celia Crayfish. It was dark outside. Gretal Green was sitting slumped at her desk reading something. A single lamp illuminated her hands as she turned the page. Tiga could see the Eddy Eggby doll propped up against her mum’s book.

  Miss Heks was wandering around the office, accidentally knocking things over and picking them up again.

  Gretal Green eyed her nervously. ‘You’re asking some very strange questions, Miss … what did you say your name was?’

  Celia Crayfish sat in the chair in front of Gretal Green’s desk, her hands clasped neatly in front of her. She had a wig on and a gigantic hat, but it was still definitely her.