Witch Watch Read online

  Felicity Bat rattled the cage, but it was no good. It rose up and up and finally attached itself to the ceiling, making Felicity Bat look like a really weird light fixture.

  ‘Do you like my new find?’ Celia Crayfish/Norma Milton said, waving the ripped piece of paper about the slugs in the air.

  Felicity Bat shook her head in disbelief. She watched her gran shove the piece of paper in her pocket and head for the door.

  ‘Now,’ said Celia Crayfish/Norma Milton, ‘if you don’t mind me, I have some friends to meet …’

  She flung the door open and skipped outside. But as she did, a little gust of wind whipped the piece of paper out of her pocket. It floated softly to the ground, right below the cage where Felicity Bat was trapped.

  Felicity flicked her finger over and over again, but her magic wasn’t working. All she could do was stare at it.

  37

  Up Here!

  However, the next day …

  ‘Morning, Fel-Fel! Time for another day of not knowing how evil or good we’re going to be!’

  Aggie Hoof trotted into the Gull & Chip Tavern and looked around. ‘Fel-Fel?’

  Nasty Nancy was snoring on the counter, but aside from her, it was empty.

  Felicity Bat rocked in the cage and shook it, desperately trying to make some noise, but Aggie Hoof was humming the song ‘Frogs For Ever’ by the Silver Rats and couldn’t hear.

  She turned to leave and Felicity Bat slumped in the cage. But, right before Aggie Hoof trotted out of the door, Felicity Bat watched as she turned quickly and spotted something! Not Felicity Bat in the cage, the idiot. No, she spotted the piece of paper!

  ‘Oooh, maybe this is the slug paper that everyone’s been going on about. Because … it has pictures of slugs on it … and it’s paper!’

  She picked it up, kissed it, and into her pocket it went …

  Felicity Bat sighed with relief. At least the paper wasn’t in Celia Crayfish’s hands. But, then again, maybe hapless Hoof having it would be even worse …

  38

  Felicity Bat Isn’t Going

  To Show

  Meanwhile at the Sky Port …

  ‘She’s tricked us!’ Tiga said, peering over the edge of the platform into the clumps of clouds below.

  ‘That evil witch!’ Fluffanora said, stomping about on the platform.

  Peggy shook her head. ‘I really thought she was telling the truth … ’

  ‘Curse her and her quite good “I’m Not Normal” anagram,’ Tiga shouted.

  Norma Milton beamed like she was proud. ‘She figured that out, did she?’

  Tiga wasn’t paying attention. ‘Why would she trick us? What do you think she was doing? We could’ve put ourselves in grave danger trusting her.’

  ‘Ah, graves,’ Norma Milton said affectionately. ‘I love a good grave.’

  ‘What?’ Tiga asked.

  Norma Milton smiled. ‘Nothing …’

  ‘Fel-Fel?’ came a voice through the clouds. ‘FEL-FEL?!’

  ‘Aggie Hoof,’ Tiga hissed.

  She came wobbling into view on her old mop. ‘Hi, everyone.’

  Everyone glared at her. She slipped, sending her mop spinning. She tried to steady herself. ‘Have you seen Fel-Fel?’

  ‘Maybe she knows something,’ Fran whispered.

  ‘I say we get rid of her,’ Norma Milton said, raising a finger, ready to flick her with magic. ‘Let’s not listen to anything she says.’

  ‘Where is Felicity Bat?’ Tiga demanded, squeezing Norma’s finger to stop her doing a spell.

  ‘I don’t know, silly! That’s what I just asked you!’ Aggie Hoof said cheerily. ‘I’ve looked all over for her. I said I would meet her in the Gull & Chip Tavern, but she isn’t there.’

  Tiga began to pace with Peggy.

  ‘I think she’s telling the truth,’ Peggy whispered. ‘She’s terrible at lying. Watch this.’

  Peggy walked over to Aggie Hoof and asked, ‘Is Celia Crayfish back?’

  Aggie Hoof puffed out her cheeks, ‘Are you meant to know she’s back or not? I’ve forgotten … ’

  ‘See,’ Peggy said.

  ‘Anyway,’ Aggie Hoof said. ‘I’d better go check Pearl Peak for her.’ She waved goodbye, with what at first looked like a hanky in her hand.

  As her mop started to take off, Tiga grabbed it and dragged her back down again. ‘What’s that?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, this?’ Aggie Hoof said casually. ‘It’s a piece of paper about slugs that Fel-Fel really wanted when we visited Silver City. I just found it!’

  Norma Milton frantically rummaged in her pockets and then began to choke.

  ‘Are you all right, Norma?’ Fluffanora asked, slapping her back.

  ‘Fine,’ Norma said breathlessly, staring in horror at the piece of paper.

  ‘May I borrow it?’ Tiga asked Aggie Hoof.

  She nodded. ‘You can take it for now if you want. But only if you promise to look after it for Fel-Fel?’

  Tiga held the piece of paper in the air and grinned. Shakily, she took the slug out of her pocket. This was it! She was going to find out what had happened to her mum. Nothing else mattered. The training. Hideous Celia Crayfish. What on earth Felicity Bat was up to. All that could wait.

  Peggy and Fluffanora put a hand on her shoulder and Fran plonked herself down on her head.

  Tiga gently took off the slug’s beehive of hair with a wave of her hand.

  Sluggfrey looked furious.

  Tiga’s hand was shaking as she read out the instructions.

  ‘OK, so now we tap his head and repeat the following:

  Spy slug, spy slug

  Slimy and slow

  Show us what it is

  You –’

  BOOM!

  Tiga dived to the floor. Sluggfrey soared high into the air. Cackles rang loudly in Tiga’s ears – so loudly she clutched her ears in pain.

  ‘WHAT’S GOING ON?!’ she screamed.

  Peggy and Fluffanora were lying next to her, clutching their ears too.

  ‘This must be it! The beginning of Celia Crayfish’s evil plan! RUN!’ Norma Milton cried, sneakily trying to grab the slug.

  A siren sounded. Colourful witches swarmed the streets below, cackling like a cackle machine that had a broken ‘off’ button.

  Fluffanora and Peggy looked at Tiga, their eyes wide. ‘EVIL WITCHES,’ they all yelled at once.

  SMACK!

  Millbug-Mae, the fairy with oversized eyeballs, hit the platform and swirled about in the air. She was wearing a cap that said Fight Like a Fairy, Sting Like a Bead.

  (She had meant bee, but when she called up to order the hats, the witch on the other end of the line had misheard her.)

  Tiga watched as all the fairies, including Crispy, tore through the air towards the evil witches. Fran sped off to the front to lead the way. She whipped out a hat and placed it on top of her beehive of hair, only it didn’t say Fight Like a Fairy, Sting Like a Bead, it said Fran’s Army.

  The other fairies scrunched up their fists and waved them at Fran.

  ‘Come along, fabulous army!’ she said grandly.

  Witches were filing down from Pearl Peak too, and witches soared across from the coves, and the towers.

  Tiga watched as people ran for cover and closed curtains and dived into plant pots.

  A bunch of WARWOP witches waddled past in Witch Boxes.

  ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN STING LIKE A BEAD?’ witches were yelling at the fairies. ‘WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!’

  ‘Do beads sting?’ another asked, ripping off her beaded necklace and hurling it through the air. It hit Crispy. Tiga watched in horror as the evil-looking little fairy hit the pavement and was squashed under a fleeing witch’s sparkly shoe.

  ‘Crispy!’ Tiga cried. The fairy might have seemed evil, but Tiga was positive she was just misunderstood.

  Crispy lay still for a moment and then leapt to her feet, squished her face about a bit and looked as good as new.

 
‘I’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!’ Peggy cried, looking down at all the destruction.

  Fluffanora nodded. ‘But we need a plan. We can’t just run down.’

  ‘SERIOUSLY,’ a witch screeched, ‘HOW DO YOU STING LIKE A BEAD?’

  This wasn’t their normal battle. There were no fairies with cameras, no lights, no glitter, no Felicity Bat and her silly sidekick. This was terrifying, and they were not prepared at all.

  ‘OK,’ Fluffanora said numbly, ‘this is it. I’ll take on Miss Heks. She’s Celia Crayfish’s loyal sidekick – we get rid of her, we get rid of a big support for that evil old witch.’

  ‘And I’ll deal with the army of evil Big Exit witches,’ Peggy said, as hundreds scuttled past below them.

  ‘And I’ll look after the slug!’ Norma cried.

  Tiga turned and peered over the platform. Through the clouds she could hear screams and screeches. ‘And I’ll deal with Celia Crayfish.’ She handed the slug to Norma. ‘When you get a chance, do the spell and find out what information is in him. The rest of us will take on the other witches.’

  Norma nodded obediently.

  ‘You lot, come with me. You can help me get to Celia Crayfish,’ Tiga said, pointing at Milly, Molly, Patty Pigeon and Lizzie Beast. ‘Keep an eye out for Felicity Bat too. I want to know what that sneak is up to.’

  They all nodded, and off they went, levitating off the platform and down to the, quite frankly, lunacy below.

  ‘Well, that was outrageously easy,’ Norma Milton cackled as she watched them go. With a bang she morphed back into Celia Crayfish. She held the slug at arm’s length away from her and grinned.

  39

  Fluffanora vs Miss Heks

  Fluffanora crept along the road behind Miss Heks, who had broken off from the rest of the Big Exit witches and was causing havoc all on her own.

  ‘You!’ she bellowed, pointing at Cakes, Pies and That’s About It Really. ‘Are a lump of BRIE.’

  She flicked her finger and the shop transformed into a gigantic lump of cheese.

  ‘Yum,’ she said, trotting on further down the road. The lamp post morphed into a stinking lump of blue cheese with a flick of her knobbly finger, and Clutterbucks was soon a fragrant Camembert cheese.

  Miss Heks walked up to it and licked it.

  Fluffanora gagged.

  ‘You’re Cheddar,’ Miss Heks said dismissively, flicking her finger and turning Brew’s to cheese. A bunch of nice witches who had been hiding inside ran out holding their noses.

  When they got to the end of the road, they were engulfed by a group of Big Exit witches.

  Fluffanora gulped, just as Miss Heks twirled on her heel and spotted her. ‘Yooou,’ she seethed.

  ‘Stop cheesing everything, you horror!’

  Miss Heks cackled. Fluffanora flicked her finger. Miss Heks ducked and cackled some more.

  Fluffanora stepped forward just as the blue cheese lamp post flopped over. She dived backwards, but by the time she’d got back on her feet, Miss Heks was gone.

  ‘Frognuggets,’ Fluffanora muttered under her breath as she watched Miss Heks soar off towards Linden House.

  40

  Peggy vs All the Other Big

  Exit Witches (She Chose It)

  ‘Um … ’ Peggy muttered as she landed with a thump in the middle of the Big Exit witches. Slowly, they closed in on her.

  ‘The ruling witch,’ one of them hissed, grabbing for her.

  ‘Wait!’ Peggy cried. ‘Let’s just talk.’

  They paused and tilted their heads.

  ‘Yes?’ Peggy begged.

  They cackled and lunged for her.

  ‘PEGGY!’ Fluffanora cried as she raced down the street.

  The Big Exit witches swarmed like wasps in ruffle-bottom dresses. Fluffanora couldn’t see Peggy or hear her. The cackles grew louder. Fluffanora glanced around for Tiga. Cakes, Pies and That’s About It Really, now a pile of Brie, was melting.

  Milly and Molly scuttled into the scene and pinched Nasty Nancy’s nose.

  Nasty Nancy just pulled it off.

  Peggy gasped as Nasty Nancy pulled another nose out of her pocket and stuck it on her face. ‘I got plenty of noses. Is that all you witches have?’

  Milly and Molly ran away.

  Peggy could see Lizzie Beast and Patty Pigeon in the distance – evil witches were hitting them with bits of cheese.

  Think, Peggy, Peggy thought.

  Nasty Nancy dived for Fluffanora!

  Peggy squeezed her eyes shut, her mind a blender of words and panicking and muddled-up spells.

  And then …

  POP!

  She peeked with one eye and then another.

  ‘Peggy!’ Fluffanora cried. ‘You’re a genius!’

  The Big Exit witches had flopped over and were scuttling haphazardly around Peggy, who had muttered in her panic to remember spells:

  ‘Um … um … Take these evil things and make them be

  Splashing and swimming things of the sea.’

  ‘Brilliant,’ Fluffanora said, shaking her head. She darted forward and opened the door to Brew’s.

  ‘Why is it made of cheese?!’ Peggy squealed.

  ‘No time to explain!’ Fluffanora shouted. ‘Herd the witches in here!’

  ‘You brats! Why do I have eight feet!’ one witch yelled as the eight feet now attached to her sides scuttled left and then right before heading into Brew’s.

  ‘IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO TO THEM,’ they heard a voice shout.

  ‘Celia Crayfish,’ Peggy gasped, pointing to the roof of Linden House, where the old bat was hovering.

  ‘YOU’LL NEVER STOP ME NOW.’

  ‘Where on Sinkville’s grey earth is Tiga?’ Fluffanora said, frantically looking up and down the street.

  Peggy stared up at Linden House and gasped. ‘There,’ she said, pointing a trembling finger.

  41

  Tiga vs Celia Crayfish

  ‘You have got to be quiet,’ Tiga hissed, as she levitated slowly up the side of Linden House. Next to her was Fran and all the other fairies who were whisper-chanting, ‘Sting like a bead, sting like a bead.’

  It was not ideal.

  ‘Almost there,’ Fran said as they wobbled through the air, and came to a halt right in front of Celia Crayfish. She was standing on the roof holding a glowing apple and grinning like Fran on International Fran Day (only Fran celebrates it, on 29th March).

  She was drunk on power.

  ‘I AM SO POWERFUL!’ she cried, before spotting Tiga staring at her. Fran stuck her tongue out at Celia Crayfish. The other fairies copied.

  ‘Oh,’ Celia Crayfish said. ‘You.’

  Tiga landed with a thud on the roof and said, ‘Yes, ME,’ before instantly regretting it because it sounded stupid.

  She glanced around the roof. It was just her, Celia Crayfish and the fairies.

  Tiga took a couple of steps backwards. The wind was picking up and Celia Crayfish, like the apple, was starting to glow.

  ‘You see, Tiga. Your mum was a very clever young witch. She bewitched some slugs to hold information.’

  Tiga nodded and turned to her left. Two figures were tied up in the darkness.

  ‘Mrs Brew!’ Tiga shouted. ‘Mavis!’

  They both wriggled. Celia Crayfish had gagged their mouths with some silky gloves from Brew’s.

  ‘Ah yes, I thought Mrs Brew could live here and make all my clothes when I’m Top Witch and Mavis can make the jam.’

  That must be why Felicity Bat was being nice to us – she was distracting us while her horrible gran kidnapped Mrs Brew, and Mavis too! Tiga thought. She clenched her fists and made to run at Celia Crayfish, but her legs were glued to the roof! She stared down at them and screamed.

  ‘You don’t think I would’ve thought of that?’ Celia Crayfish said with a smirk, gesturing at Tiga’s legs. ‘I think of everything.’

  Tiga could hear a scratching noise behind her. She peeked to her right and saw Peggy and Fluffanora l
evitating by the side of the building.

  Fluffanora held a finger to her lips. Tiga nodded.

  ‘Anyway,’ Celia Crayfish went on. ‘A bunch of us left to live above the pipes. Oh, it was splendid. We made children cry and made potions with toes again, just like the wonder years. We took our houses and marvelled at the world above the pipes and how children are considered inferior to adults. You’d hear people say things like, “I know best!” and do you know why they said they knew best?’

  ‘Yes,’ Tiga said.

  ‘Course you do, you were raised above the pipes. IT’S BECAUSE THEY WERE OLDER. Older than the little runt they were speaking to. But after some years, we got a bit fed up of that world up there – all the sneaking around and the lack of cauldrons. Let me tell you, people look at you very strangely if you tell them you need to buy a bath to make your “soups” . We decided to come back.’

  ‘We wanted our Sinkville back,’ Miss Heks shouted from Brew’s.

  ‘But there was no way we were going to let a kid tell us what to do!’ Celia Crayfish said with a cackle. ‘I tossed and turned night after night, trying to think about how we could seize power, I wanted to take over Linden House, but the magic that protects it prevented me from doing so. You have to be nine. And I am a bit older than ten.’

  ‘You’re a fossil!’ someone from the crowd shouted.

  ‘And then one night Miss Heks over there called. She was complaining about you, and about how you’d been spending hours in the shed talking nonsense to a slug.’

  ‘From sunrise to frogs o’clock,’ Miss Heks said with a sigh.

  ‘And that’s when I remembered my conversation with your mum,’ Celia Crayfish said, smirking. ‘You see, I visited her once and she told me about how she’d bewitched the slugs to absorb information. So I bewitched this apple here, you see, just like your mum did with the slugs, only this apple, thanks to a few tweaks, doesn’t just absorb information, it absorbs youth. The youth of the ruling witch. So all I needed to do was make sure Peggy held it in her hand, and she did. So now when I hold it, the magic surrounding Linden House can’t tell me and the apple apart. So it thinks I’m nine,’ she concluded, sounding delighted with herself.